something paid in full...

one more... this is one of my favorites from 2002, written between thanksgiving and christmas. it was written about a guy i hadn't seen since early morning, january 1st, 2000. still haven't seen him. he was, without a doubt, my first love.

i want to see you because
                        i want to feel you because

because i think you owe me something.
         something you had once, first.

something i want, from you.

but first, come within range.  put yourself in the cross-hairs.
i want something from you.
                   once in tiny stolen capacities
                          once in full, paid back never...*

and you want something from me.    something you didnt have in a sh00ting star

something sand in your eye made clear.
                          something said once to constelations
                                      (through leaves)

i want something from you.

shh come near...
      only so much i can do where others can hear

i'll tie your shoelace for a dime
                fog your windows for a time

wash over me (like the surf?)::how long ago was that::



are you still ::still reading::

do you even know this is for you.

some early poems of mine...

as you ran off to the shore
it was as if you had never existed
like your memory dove into the crest
like the waves swept you clean (from sight)
and the lights on the oposite shore
obliterated even your shadows
but i knew your profile
i recognized the line of your shoulders
coming back from the dark and wind
to share the latest prize you've found
while wandering the shoreline
where you were all along
*you and your silly rock :) *
**********************************************************

we kissed infront of a passing train
like a postcard
like we were speaking french
thats why i love you
as you turned your head
your profile struck a chord
it was rachmaninov
(knew it by that one chord of course.)
and i saw a man
buying a postcard
of a couple kissing
infront of a passing train
i looked over next to me, and you...
you werent there
but the postcard fell from the man's hands
and landed at my feet
so i took it home
and tucked it into a safe place on my dresser
and sang it a song
in french
because thats why i love you
**********************************************************

sometimes...i'm a brittle starfish
too many too close no escape
sun star sounds like a better place to be
but a little too lofty and lonely for me
where would i fit...
opalescent squid mate all night
tentacles flushing red
when they succeede
sounds like thats the life, right?
but when the eggs are down, you're gone with them too
nothing like personally catering
an under-sea all you can eat
(the entre is you)
i think i'll stick to brittle starfish
fumble and stumble my way through
maybe i'll find myself on the ack of a sunstar
and see if i can save the day...
************************************************************

he talks in phrase-like questions
what kind of language is that?
you're made angry by the words you shape
mouth remembers words of hate
the questioning mouth holds wonder
and curiosity on its lips
*************************************************************

(they're old, early 2002, but i like them. hope you do too.)